It is about that time again...
It is time for me to cut myself off from my family again. I'm not talking about my immediate family, but everyone else needs to leave me alone for the time being with the exception of a select few I cannot stand to be scolded and told what I need to do like I'm their child. Now if it were my parents telling me this, I would not be bitching about it since they are my parents after all. I always take whatever opinions or concerns they have regarding my life into consideration because they know how to approach me for the most part.
Faye, my first cousin from my dad's side, is a meddling, judgmental bitch. I was slightly warned of this by her sister and a few others, but I wanted to give everyone a chance since I was just getting to know that side of the family. When I first met her she was nice, very spiritual and asked a lot of questions; however, it was not annoying. Since I let her get to know me a bit more personally, all she has done is butt into my life and try to control me. I'm grateful for the things she has given me, but I do not think that it's reasonable for her to demand that I do or refrain from doing certain things.
I'm 22 fucking years old dammit! I'm learning how to transition from being a young adult to a "regular" adult. I appreciate advice and contructive critism. I really do but I also want to make my own mistakes and learn for myself. I feel like I can't do those things with that bitch standing over my shoulder. So, snip snip, I'm going to go back to doing my own thing. I feel like when I let her in I lost control of my life. I hate depending on people, and I now depend on her. That will change after this month though.
When I moved to College Station in 2007, I was able to help out with a huge chunk of my $1300/month rent that semester, then when I decided that I was ready to take care of myself, my parents backed off, and I made do just fine. I moved to a nice but less costly apartment, worked 2 jobs, paid all my bills, made awesome grades that got me into A&M, and still had an awesome social life. Now, I barely even want to be here anymore. I like school, work, and spending most of my time with my best friends. It's just that I don't seem to have the same spark. I want to be excited about the things I do and not afraid to try something just because I might fail. I want to go back in time a couple years and relive those moments where I fucked up big time, but I jumped right back in the game with a positive mindframe.
Man do I miss those days...
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